QUESTION: "Help! I'm single at the holidays and hating it. Is it even possible to meet a nice guy during a season that seems so much about couples? Any suggestions on what I can do and where I can go to mix and mingle and maybe meet someone special?"

ANSWER: So I was talking a to a buddy of mine, Jeff, about your dilemma and he felt that what you needed to get over your anxiety was some good old-fashioned "shock-therapy." So, naturally, he suggested you spend the holidays with him. Now don't get him wrong. What Jeff means is with him, his wife, three kids, two dogs, one gerbil and visiting in-laws in Teaneck, New Jersey. In Jeff's words, then you'll get to see "the grass isn't only greener on my side of the lawn, it's also regularly mowed, weeded, plowed, tripped over, pooped on and puked on."

While Jeff can't offer you your own room during your rejuvenating stay at Chez May (short for mayhem), he's happy to set you up on the couch in the living room, which will afford you a front and center view of all the marital delights you've regularly missed out on:

- Holiday preparations and cleaning.
- Sleep-training their one-year old, which means keeping it down after 8:30pm.
- Standing on line at the mall to see Santa Claus amidst a steady stream of whining, runny-nosed toddlers.
- A New Years gala with his in-laws and all of their old neighborhood friends who haven't yet retired to Fort Lauderdale.

Oh and here's the kicker:

- Commiserating with all of Jeff's married friends about how much fun they used to have over the holidays when they were single and generally feeling sorry for themselves.
What are some of the things Jeff and his friends used to do when they were single and in search of holiday cheer?

Well Genine, his wife, used to take a free-spirited free-style approach: She partied from party to party, with work colleagues, college roommates, old friends and new. And no holiday season was complete without an indulgent purchase of a cocktail dress that made her feel beautiful and sexy, with impractical shoes to match.

Her sister Katie, (the "altruist"), liked to use holiday time to volunteer at a homeless shelter, and felt like that was a meaningful way to get out of her own head and start appreciating her life by helping others less fortunate.

Katie's husband, Jack, liked to get a jump start on his New Year's resolutions: from signing up for an evening class in screenwriting, to joining a new gym and treating himself to a month of personal training to getting a subscription at Carnegie Hall, it was all about taking steps to ensure his resolutions had some resolve.

Jack's sister-in-law, Carla, always planned something adventurous before returning to work in the new year: a trip to the Caribbean with girlfriends, a mountain climbing expedition with an unknown tour group, a roadtrip to see old college friends: never the same thing twice.

Carla's best friend, Emily, preferred to take it easy (something a mother of triplets misses more than you'd possibly imagine). Going to a luxurious spa or a favorite author's book-reading in another city or a weekend wine-tasting in Long Island. Sometimes she'd even meet people there. Other times, she bought last-minute gifts. But mostly it led to some quality time to celebrate the joys of being single.

Okay, so here's the part where you expect me to tell you that all of these happily married people met their soul-mates during the holiday season as a result of their get up and go yuletide spirit. Well I'd be lying if I told you that.

But the way they spent their holidays was an expression of the way they lived our lives and continue to do so to this day: Making the most of their little patch of green, no matter what side of the lawn they’re on.

So don't give up on mistletoe, for goodness sakes, but remember, there's more to Kriss Kringle than a kiss or a jingle, there's the joy of being single with good friends to mingle!