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QUESTION: "I love it when my boyfriend goes down on me, but I also love feeling him inside me. The problem is that when we're having sex, I often come close but don't end up experiencing an orgasm." (Jane, 29)

ANSWER: Before transitioning to genital penetration, use cunnilingus as a way of getting as close as possible to the point of orgasmic inevitability. Once you're there, try the female superior position, or woman on top. This is an ideal position for you to:
  • Position your clitoris against your pubic bone at the base of his penis and achieve the ideal amount of pressure
  • Stimulate your clitoral cluster (also known as the G-spot) against your penis
  • Control rhythm and pace
  • Modulate the experience of your orgasm
According to Masters and Johnson, "Clitoral response may develop more rapidly and with greater intensity in the female-superior coition than in any other female coital positions."

Or you can try The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)

This is a sexual position designed to greatly improve a woman's chance of orgasm through genital penetration and function as an enhancement to the standard missionary position, man-on-top. During CAT, the man penetrates from a higher angle than usual, placing pressure on the woman's clitoris with the base of his penis and pubic bone. When performing CAT, the main thing to keep in mind is maintaining contact with the clitoris. The overall movement is much less a thrusting than a synchronized rocking back and forth with the focus on the clitoris and the base of the penis.

The main key is to use cunnilingus to come as close as possible to the point of orgasmic inevitability and then to find sexual positions that continue the stimulation and don't interrupt it. Once you and your boyfriend are focused on clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal penetration, you should be able to achieve orgasm, particularly if you're taking the lead.