QUESTION: "Dear Ian:

There is always something wrong with every guy I meet — they’re either too bossy, too sloppy, too cheap. I could go on and on. I feel like there are no good men left. What do I have to do to find a guy that’s right for me?"

ANSWER: First off, allow me to commend you on your high standards and refusal to settle for less than you deserve. A good man is hard to find, and I’m not talking about quantity (the truth is that about 105 boys are born for every 100 girls). I’m talking about quality. What was considered “good enough” for your mom or grandmother just doesn’t cut it anymore (sorry, grandpa). Today’s women are smarter, better educated, and more successful than ever before. And it’s because of this independence that women have choices. And more and more women are choosing to stay single rather than settle for second best. The problem with finding a good man is that you’ve gotten way too good for us. Think about it: you women had the Sexual Revolution to motivate you; but what have us guys been doing for the last thirty years? Can you say “E.S.P.N.?” That’s right, while you’ve been out bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan, we’ve been sitting on our asses watching sports and drinking Bud Light.

So why shouldn’t you be on the hunt for a guy as good as you are – successful, attractive, educated, serious, clean.

But don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep the door open. It’s too easy to get hung up on standards, or an “ideal guy”, or what was drilled into our heads by our parents. As one female patient of mine, a single real estate broker, said:

“Listen, maybe it’s because of my job, but I approach dating like house-shopping. First I pick a neighborhood in my price range. I’m realistic. Look, I know I’m never going to live on Brad Pitt Lane or George Clooney Avenue, but that doesn’t mean I have to settle for a dump on George Costanza Row. And once I’m out there shopping, I always factor in renovation costs – because honey, I don’t care how good a paint job he has on the surface, no man is in “move-in” condition. But sometimes a fixer-upper is a good investment – especially if he’s a good kisser. And here’s the other thing I learned: don’t be afraid to flip – life is short, you have to live like the market is red-hot. Give him a try, and if it doesn’t work out, then flip him and move on.”

To stick with Nancy’s metaphor, stay optimistic. It’s a big market out there. Be open to new neighborhoods you may not have been considering. Trust me: it’s only a matter of time until you find a home worth taking out that 30-year mortgage on.