Ask Ian

QUESTION: "Between our jobs and our kids it's really hard for us to spend quality time together and to connect. I don't want to our relationship to suffer but it seems impossible to have actual romantic dates together any more! Any suggestions on how we manage to spend time on each other when we have so much else going on? How can we make the most of the free hours we do have?"

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QUESTION: "Dear Ian, I’m dating this guy and I’m not sure if I just like him, or if I’m potentially starting to, you know, uhm, love him?"

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QUESTION: "I went out on a few dates with this guy that I thought I wasn’t really into, and now he’s not calling and I can’t stop thinking about him. Should I call?"

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QUESTION: "My husband is so different from when we met—I can't stand how lazy he is around the house, with his appearance and especially in our relationship. Is it wrong for me to expect him to still romance me and look at good as he used to? How can I get him to change or shouldn't I bother?"

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QUESTION: "What exactly is a sex therapist, how do I know if I need one, and where can I find a sex therapist that's qualified to work with me?" (Alessandra, 27)

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QUESTION: "My husband becomes extremely uncomfortable whenever I try to talk to him about sex-he just shuts down or changes the subject. I try not to force the issue because I know he's touchy, but I'm getting really frustrated. How can I let him know, without hurting his feelings, that I want him to do more of some things, like oral sex, and less of other things, like breast-gobbling?" (Susan, 28)

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