Cosmopolitan

Guys' #1 sex hang-up: small penis? Nope. Can't it up? Think again. His chief bedroom conundrum is a too-soon climax.

Cosmopolitan; 1/1/2006; Triffin, Molly

* At some point, just about every guy has gotten overly excited and blasted off too quickly. But here's a stat that may shock you: "About 20 percent of men experience premature ejaculation (PE) on a chronic basis," says Ivan Grunberger, MD, vice chairman of urology at Long Island College Hospital. And since more and more guys claim to suffer from performance anxiety these days--one cause of PE--that number may be on the rise, according to James Barada, MD, director of the Albany Center for Sexual Health.
Which means if you haven't already encountered a speedy peaker, there's a good chance you will. In fact, we decided to do our own poll of guys and found that 47 percent of them have orgasmed in less than two minutes during sex. And half of those guys admitted to being mortified enough by their rapid climax to not ask out the girl again. Thankfully, there are things you can do to help him last longer and ensure that you get plenty of pleasure too.

PE Primer
Premature ejaculation is defined as climaxing in less than two minutes during intercourse, oral sex, or manual stimulation. The reasons it happens? Some guys who suffer from PE experience more intense below-the-belt sensation. Others orgasm too soon due to psychological reasons, such as pressure at work or anxiety about their sack skills. "Stress causes levels of adrenaline and dopamine to rise," explains Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and author of She Comes First. "This makes the guy more aroused and less in control of his orgasm."

Another culprit: masturbation. "Men often focus on finishing fast when masturbating since climaxing is the goal," explains Dr. Barada. "They become conditioned to rapid ejaculation."

Slow-Down Strategies
Your lust life doesn't have to suffer if your guy experiences PE--there are strategies for dealing with it. Stick to the girl-on-top pose, which involves less genital friction and rapid thrusting, which pushes many men over the edge. "Also, when you're in control, you can pause for a few seconds if your man's getting too excited too quickly," says Kerner. "Keep doing this and eventually he will learn more restraint."

Another climax-controlling ploy: "If your man is getting close to the O zone, you can delay him by firmly squeezing the tip of his member for three to five seconds," says Kerner. (He can do this during masturbation too.) Or rub an ice cube over his shaft when he gets worked up. "It will numb him a little and might stave off orgasm," says Mitchell Creinin, MD, director of family planning at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

If he does finish prematurely, casually let him know there are other ways to get you off. Ask if he wants to go down on you or just guide his hand. Odds are good that he'll learn how to control himself. According to Dr. Barada, 85 percent of guys suffering from PE improve after three months of counseling or practicing climax-delaying techniques.

Men Who Can't Reach Climax
Although it's very rare, some guys have the opposite problem of PE: anorgasmia, the inability to peak.