TMN: But you were fighting it.
IK: At first my problem was that of the average teenager – early sexual encounters led to over-excitement. I tried to deal with PE in all the usual ways: masturbating before going out on a date –

TMN: The Ben Stiller approach.
IK: Yes, or letting myself come during foreplay and then postponing sex until I could muster another erection; downing beers and wrapping my cock in double, even triple condoms. But honestly, you could have had my cock laminated and hermetically sealed and I still would’ve had a hair-trigger. In college I graduated to herbal remedies, topical ointments, and miracle creams advertised in the backs of porn magazines.

TMN: And it wouldn’t behave?
IK: It got far, far worse. I was experimenting on myself like Dr. Mengele. One experiment led to acid-burn and near-disintegration of my penis in the men’s room of a Japanese restaurant. And once I put the ‘Errol Flynn method’ to the test – a dab of coke on the tip of glans, which led to my implication in a campus-wide drug bust, complete with photos of me dipping and rolling my cock in a bag of coke like it was a piece of chicken getting Shake ‘N Baked.

TMN: How did they get pictures?
IK: It was an interrogation tactic – they threatened, I caved.

TMN: Do you still have these pictures?
IK: Anyway, later in life, I learned from my study of pioneering sex-researcher Alfred Kinsey that the typical male sustains penetrative thrusting, on average, for about two and a half minutes. That provided some comfort, but at the time I felt terribly alone. Throughout the many years of quiet desperation I felt that PE was my tragic fate. I thought I’d been cursed with an Achilles cock.

TMN: And the whole time you were my boss, you were a premature ejaculator? I’m seeing that year in a different light, now.
IK: Yeah – lots of initial enthusiasm, no follow-through, a whole lot of starting and stopping. The whole internet economy was nothing more than one big premature ejaculation. I was well suited to it.

TMN: So, your own issues with PE brought you to sex therapy.
IK: First, it brought me to cunnilingus. I was a sexual cripple, and oral sex became my crutch. If I couldn’t satisfy a woman with my penis, then I’d sure as hell satisfy her with my mouth. I can still remember all the fears, preconceptions and blunders of my early experiences in college. I learned through trial and error, but eventually came to realize that cunnilingus was much more than just an arbitrary, or optional, aspect of foreplay; it was ‘coreplay.’

TMN: Like foreplay, but with a ‘c,’ which stands for…
IK: It’s my attempt to get people thinking past the ‘foreplay, then intercourse’ sexual strategy. Coreplay is an essential process – with a beginning, middle and end – for leading a woman through the many stages of arousal that eventually culminate in climax. Cunnilingus allowed me to pleasure a woman, and allowed me to stop worrying about sex and start enjoying it. It certainly saved my sex life and, when I think about all the depression and heartache I suffered as a result of my battles with PE, it’s not so far off to say that it saved my entire life.

TMN: So premature ejaculation can kill you. Readers, be warned!
IK: PE is a huge issue in this country that’s swept under the carpet. Kim Cattrall said in her book Satisfaction that premature ejaculators were the bane of her existence. It’s the no. 1 male sexual dysfunction in this country, and is a very under-researched field. The numbers are huge. Probably one out of three men deal with ‘involuntary ejaculation,’ at least from time to time. Maybe even two out of three. But no one brings it up. Impotence affects far fewer people, but there’s more money in it, so thanks to Pfizer, to the pharma industry, we hear about it constantly. It’s hip to be impotent. But premature ejaculation…

TMN: Why so many?
IK: Bad masturbation habits. You learn from a young age that sex is quick, furtive. Porn reinforces this, it teaches guys to focus purely on their own orgasm, not on mutual gratification. Even if they know it should be different, many men can’t fight their own training. It goes incredibly deep.

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