Are you ready to take your relationship to a new level?
Heed the wisdom of these five experts:
1. "Stop all shame, blame, and criticism.
Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and positive
manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate:
Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution
and that it is noticed."
— Harville
Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want
2.
"Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you're very
involved with your partner's mistakes, to a positive one,
in which you catch him doing something right."
— John
M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Relationship Cure:
A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family,
and Friendships
3.
"When your relationship starts to break down, you need
AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action.
You say you're sorry for what you've said or done to
hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer
a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth.
You pledge to do something that matters to your partner."
— Mira
Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of The
Weekend Marriage
4.
"With books on the market like How to
Make Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest
services you can do for a guy is to reassure him
that he doesn't have to make love like a porn star.You
can show him how to have sex like a woman: creative,
sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure- than
orgasm-focused."
—
Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First
5.
"All relationships grow a bit stale
as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they
are, the staler they can get. The best thing
you can do is pump in some fresh air. Along
weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal,
but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don't
tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell
phones, and unplug the TV. When you get home,
you'll find your relationship has acquired ruddy
cheeks."
—
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist
and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating
Love.
