Be Honest

It’s a slippery slope (as it were), all this sexual empowerment. On the one hand, it’s the apogee of the feminist revolution and the reclamation of female pleasure (and who doesn’t love an apogee?). On the other hand, it may be the beginning of an imperceptible but very real slide downward, toward the land of lowered standards. Only you can really tell what effect your actions are having on your ability to have meaningful, gratifying sex when it counts. I’m just here to prompt the thought processes.

• Raise and Reach, You’ve earned it: Sexual empowerment is a right and a privilege, so don’t be afraid to use it. But use it wisely, and use it well.
  
• Make sure it’s a fair bargain: If you are a woman and you go looking for casual sex, you’re going to find it. And if you’re having sex with a guy you know you’re not that into, make sure you’re getting something out of it.
  
• Use the booty: Guys are using you, so use back. Look at casual sex as a way to work on identifying your sexual wants and needs. Get comfortable communicating during sex --it gives you more power in the hook-up and is great training for the relationship with the guy you’re really into.
  
• Check your head: If you’re being driven by something more than horniness, you may wind up liking the guy despite yourself. That’s a trap, so ask yourself why you’re having sex, and train yourself.
  
• See the forest and the trees: Sleep with enough guys you’re not that into under the guise of being “in between,” and then, suddenly, the between becomes the reality. Just be sure you’re not missing out on what you really want by settling for what you think you need.
  
• Sexpectations: Are you sleeping with this guy because you want to and are filling some need or because he (or society) now “expects” you to do so? Empowerment gives you the right to have sex when you want to, but you don’t have act in a sexually liberated manner if you don’t feel like doing so.