Now, I’m not out to question your right to have sex if you get horny or lonely. Second-wave feminists fought for that right, and you were most likely born with it. It’s no longer about ensuring your right to pursue pleasure. It’s yours, sista, so use it as you see fit. But use it wisely. Think about how you wield that power, and what the costs are of sleeping with guys you might not be that into. Trust me, he’s getting something out of the bargain, but what are you getting?

But there’s more to this than sex. The proliferation of the Rabbit vibrator tells us that women are capable of getting themselves off without having to suffer through another dreary date with yet another misfit with a Club Monaco charge card. Successful, attractive, empowered women are dating (and falling for) men who they know they’re not into. This is happening every day, from New York to San Francisco and even in Ohio. It has probably already happened to you.

Part of the problem is the dating marketplace. The world is full of sensational women (trust me, I see you all the time -- I’m married, not dead), but there are too few men to go around, or so it appears, and you’re forced to settle. Are all the good ones taken? Of course not, but then again, they don’t seem to be hanging out on your doorstep, either. So, you keep sleeping with the ones you’re not really into. But, truth be told, it’s women’s sexually empowered behavior that’s helping create an army of men who’ve come to expect that and nothing more.

Then, there are the pressures of the social marketplace. Settle down and have children, it seems to say. A family? That’s a great idea! You’ll get right on that, after you perfect cold fusion. But it’s easier said that done, especially when you cannot meet someone you want to see for a third date. And don’t you live in the world of third-wave feminism? Yes, but as modern as the world may seem, certain traditions still rule the day. The pressure to get married, however, may be leading you to make some bad choices.

And all of this is what keeps the dating treadmill spinning at such a fast and constant pace that you forget to notice that you're not actually getting anywhere. You’ve been at this so long it seems like the reality is: Girl meets less-than-stellar guy, girl sleeps with less-than-stellar guy and, soon enough, girl is dating less-than-stellar guy. Repeat. You know the drill—you’re living it.