This book will not reduce men’s behaviors to a simple tagline that he’s not that into you. And it will not provide a neat and handy set of rules for you to follow. I’m giving you more credit than to assume you just need a rote list.

Instead, this book is designed to make you think about your actions and behaviors. That’s right, even though it might be momentarily liberating to think, “Hey, it’s not my fault it didn’t work out, he’s just not that into me,” it’s just not that simple. Life doesn’t let us off the hook so easily. And the idea that you are powerless to affect what a guy feels about you – that you might as well just be plucking the petals off of daisies (“he’s into me, he’s into me not”) is part of the process of lowering your standards, abdicating responsibility for your actions, and accepting defeat.

There is no “right” or “wrong”; guys are not either “into you” or “not into you.” The world is complex, though television writers with book deals might have you believe otherwise. In the pages that follow, I’ll outline a set of practical insights that will, I hope, help improve your love life. Based on my own experiences as a practicing sex therapist, current clinical studies and a multitude of conversations I’ve had with men and women across the country, this book will help you become a little more honest with yourselves and realize that you’re the one who’s not that into him. To achieve this, I’ve broken the book into three major parts, each addressing the ways in which women lower their standards. The goal of the book is to get you thinking and to pave the way for action, change and the discovery of the love you want. To emphasize these points, each chapter concludes with two wrap-up sections. The first is called “Be Honest,” which functions as a 2. a.m. phone call from your best friend ,the voice of reality The section is called "Raise and Reach" , which provides some ideas on how to raise your standards and reach for the love you deserve.

When it comes to life, it’s worth taking the “you can’t fire me, because I quit” approach. He may not be that into you, but, like the woman in black, it’s worth remembering, “Guess what, guys? We’re not that into you either!”
Stop lowering your standards, start reaching for love! That may be easy for me to say and harder for you to do, but the first step is the realization that you’re just not that into him. Action and reward will follow recognition.

Now, let’s get going!