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It’s your love life: how are you going to live it? Consider the following few questions: If your sex life had to basically remain as-is for the next five years, would you be satisfied? Do you think if you met your partner for the first time today, you would fall in love with him or her all over again? Do you still find your partner sexually attractive? Do you think of yourself as a “sexual person?”

When most people talk about being “sexual,” they’re usually thinking about sex in a very superficial way: They’re referring to the number of sexual partners they’ve had in the past, or think being a sexual person means that they like to have sex a lot and need it often (usually more than their partner does), or that they simply love having orgasms.

But being a sexual person is more than just liking sex. Being a sexual person means that you’re willing and able to communicate proactively about sexual issues with your partner, that you’re committed to the spirit of ongoing sexual creativity, that you sustain your sexual fitness and live a sexually healthy life, that you’re aware of past experiences that may be impairing your full enjoyment of sex, that you have empathy for your partner and his or her issues, that you recognize that sexual desire ebbs and flows across the life cycle (both within yourself and within your relationship), and that sex changes.

Being a sexual person also means that you’re tuned in and turned on rather than tuned out and turned off, and that you’re comfortable with your fantasies. Your “sexual history” is so much more than just the number of partners you’ve had. It’s who you are and what you bring to those experiences. Your sexual history is the sense of self-esteem and self-respect you bring to your sex life.

It’s how you value your sexual identity and the expression, gratification, and growth of that identity. Your sexual history isn’t just something that happened in the past. It’s something that’s happening right now. It’s never too late to take ownership of your sexual history and to allow yourself to truly become a “sexual person.”

Now, more than ever, we need to turn off the noise and tune in to our authentic sexual selves. We need to reclaim our innate erotic potential and rediscover our ability to live vitally and passionately. The time is upon us to cleanse, rejuvenate, and rebuild our broken love lives from the inside out: to make ourselves healthy and whole again.

You only have one life and you deserve to live it to the fullest?