DSI FINDING
Mr. Brown has a strong to severe case of commitment phobia, marked by many of the classic hallmarks. But Mr. Brown seems to have a deep fondness for Ms. Jacobs and a genuine awareness and desire for recovery. For this reason, this case has been forwarded to the Rehab unit for continued monitoring, treatment, and intervention.

RELATIONSHIP REHAB
DSI recommends:

• A short probationary period followed by an extended course of individual therapy
• Mr. Brown must begin to tap his inner adult and show a more refined level of maturity and, more importantly, an ability to recognize the early symptoms of a commitment-phobic episode (i.e., inference of lasting togetherness followed by intervals of heavy breathing, desire to flee and panic-driven expulsions of intellectual hyperbole or sullen silence)
• Ms. Jacobs must learn to enjoy the moment without placing so much pressure on how each moment connects to her “big picture” goals

DATING DIAGNOSTIC
Those of us who’ve been through the rinse cycle a few too many times sometimes run before we’re ready to walk. When the going gets tough, we bolt. It’s an irresistible impulse we may indulge now and regret later. As a culture weaned on the concept of “true love,” we cling to the myth of Mr. and Ms. Right, waiting for “true love” to bonk us on the heads and announce itself, before we give it our full attention. Until that time, we focus on other things: our careers, our social lives, we date and dabble, figuring that when that special person comes along, we’ll know it and spring into action.

Hey, it’s natural to get a little queasy once things start to get serious. Even when we’re head over kneecaps in love, there is something about the word forever that induces dry heaves and cold sweats. Forever. Say it: FOREVER. Yeah, it hurts.

Yet sometimes we know, deep down, that even though it makes us want to puke up yesterday’s lunch, the thought of not waking up next to so-and-so twenty years from now is not a risk we’re willing to take. After all, we want to set up college funds for our kids together and build a doghouse in our backyards and go to early bird dinners and argue about whether it’s time to go for our annual tooth cleanings. Why? Because, the truth is, we’d rather fantasize about a first kiss and be with them than enjoy a first kiss with anyone else.