My own education as a 'cunnilinguist' began with sexual dysfunction—a long, drawn-out, battle with premature ejaculation (PE). I was hopeless, pathetic. Just the sight of a woman's naked body could make me lose control, and foreplay quickly led to end of play.

Later in life I learned from my study of the pioneering sex-researcher Alfred Kinsey that the typical male sustains penetrative thrusting, on average, for about two and a half minutes and that PE is the #1 sexual problem afflicting men. That provided me with some small comfort, but at the time I felt terribly alone.

Today, I am convinced that one of the main sources of PE is poor masturbation habits— how boys are taught, or rather not taught, to do it: quickly, furtively, and shrouded in taboo and secrecy. It doesn't take long for a young man to program himself to seek his pleasure quickly and, as we all know, bad habits are difficult to break. Perhaps if someone had told me early on to masturbate with a woman's orgasm in mind, rather than my own, I would have been spared years of turmoil.

Cunnilingus not only enabled me to pleasure a woman utterly and completely, it allowed me to stop worrying about sex and start enjoying it. In doing so I was able to drop the anxiety, develop greater self-control, and become a better lover overall. Cunnilingus certainly saved my sex-life, and when I think about all the depression and heartache I suffered as a result of my battles with PE, it's not so far off to say that it saved my entire life.

If anything, this book was written in the sincere hope that other men might develop effective "sexual habits"—ones that will enable them, along with their partners, to suffer less than I have, or perhaps not at all. As Tennessee Williams wrote of the marriage-bed in his play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, "When a marriage goes on the rocks, the rocks are there, right there!" Well here's to getting rid of the rocks and smoothing out the sheets.

For more on the subject of PE, read Ian's article, Trigger Happy, in Men's Health Magazine.